A-Gon Blames God

Boston - While many fans were blaming players and management for the collapse of the 2011 Red Sox, A-Gon blamed a higher power and it wasn’t John Henry.

“God! Damn you, you bastard!” A-Gon decried in the locker room to the mob of reporters surrounding his locker. “How could God do this to us? I thought saying my ten Hail Marys and Our Fathers every night would make a difference. Boy, was I wrong.”

The reporters were stun by this revelation. A-Gon kept preaching: “You know why we sucked so bad? God! That’s why! That son of a bitch had it in for us from day one of the season.”

Some reporters mentioned that other factors like John Lackey’s pitching and the lack of team defense was to blame. A-Gon was still not buying it.

“F*ck that! God made Lackey suck. He also made us forget how to play defense, swing and miss in clutch situations and just play below our expectations. It’s all about God - what an a**hole!”

A-Gon finished the interview, than headed toward the showers. But before he can get lathered up, he tripped over his baseball bat and landed right on his face. Bruised and blooded from his ordeal, A-Gon didn’t blame his clumsy self.

“God! Damn It!”